R.I.P dear UnNamed!

Time & Fate was so envious with us that it took you away from me so soon..We weren't given the chance to get to know each others hearts and soul up-close & personal.I didn't even get the chance to know your name.But then..Whats more Important and what makes my heart lifted of burden..is that God loves you more..he took away your pain and sorrow and now you're with Him.I know you'll be taken good care of.And from now on forward I'll sleep peacely at night.I won't say goodbye.This isn't the end of US.But I'll say..'We'll meet again...dear unnamed kitty'

'Save a spot for me!'

This morning while I was at the back sidai baju..I went to jenguk the kitties in their box. Its been awhile since I've replaced the sheets in it (they were filthy by the way). And there 'he' was..sitting there all by himself. But the other 3 weren't in sight. I sought and sought and finally caught(whyy am I rhymming?) a glimpse of them under the backyard sink. I picked the three up and placed them inside of the sink then I picked 'him' up to join the others.

Looking at their 'clean' state..I boiled some water and fetched some paper towels aswell as some newspaper for exchanged of their already sheyted alas. As soon as the water was ready I mixed it with tap water to make it warm and then started to wash off the shit and dirt from their bodies. 'He' was in the worst state compared to the others.

'He's' really small..and dispoportioned..with tiny behind legs..soiled with shit and piss(i guess).'He' seemed so fragile..as if I could brake 'him' with my softest grip. 'He' looked lifeless and helpless..I myself felt helpless.But I was determined to bring 'him' give him the chance to thrive and survive. Maybe this would be my first 'patient'.

Funny I would be talking about 'him' like I was talking about a human being.He isn't I know.But it doesn't mean he should be treatened like an 'animal'. So after cleaning them up I placed them on the kitchen table (don't worry..I put lotso paper on it). I made them milk (Powdered Natural Colostrum) and used a small mouth spray and a straw to feed them with(the syringe was no where to be found) At the first atempt on getting 'him' to eat..from limp- he finally got up and looked stronger. *Beams like a proud mama* There's hope yet!!

While I was feeding the little ones..I left the mother outside..with the door opened but th grill closed, so she could see us from outside. She just waited there..probably worried what I was doing with her babies..PROBABLY NOOOT! As soon as I opened the door..so much of worrying..she went straight to Putih & Bateks food tray. Whatta?? That no-good blood-sucking bitch!! Hehe..Kidding. Cats are cats. Can't blame em.They get away with these things. But poor kitties.

So after feeding em..(and letting em pissss all over then cleaning it up) I put the three healthy ones asleep in their box while I seperated 'him' and put him somewhere safer. Since then until this evening where mom put 'him' back with his mom and the others..

Around 10pm today. He was declared dead..deceased.

"Adah..die dah mati"

"Ape? Betul ke ma?"

"Betul..mak dah buang da"

"Mak pasti ke? manetau die masih hidup..macamane mak surekan?"

"Betuuulll..dah kaku"

.....sob....

I didnt know what to say..I couldn't bear at first to even look at him. You know..during their early stages..he was the most active one..the loudest one..He was even the first to succeed in getting out of their box.But now he's gone.My first pateint is gone.What kinda doc am I?? Was it really my fault? Maybe I shouldn't of taken him out in the first place..cleaned him off..feed him..maybe I was too rough on him? I DON't know.Do I want to know? Most important do i NEED to know?

I just don't know.

In a way..I'm quite relieved to let him go.He was suffering..and now he's free from pain and misery(and having to beg for food in the future considering that he's gonna be a stray!)