Got doooped~Wakanabeb!

How does a college like mine could ever be revered by its fellow peers in this competitive world if they treat us (its studs) like trash??Simple.They don't.And with our subservient ways...'padan muka' i guess.Now i can never pay homage to KU.I just love to condemn them.But it wouldn't be very nice.There must be something good I could say about KU *bubble appears above head*(thinks really hard) Nope.Wait...Naaaah~Nadda.I would also love to get in an altercation with their admin.LoL.

(You'll probably wonder 'What the hell is she talking about?')

Well here goes. At around a quater to 6pm this evening I got a call from JPA.(I was like 'finally!'*rolls eyes & goes -phew~*) Well..I was wrong.I was emotionally and mentally dumbstruck when I heard the news.I seriously didn't know what to feel or think..but what was stupid I didn't know what to ask*smacks own face*

jpa>>"Hello.Saya En.Azman dari JPA.Boleh cakap dgn Nurul Syuhadah?"

mumz>> "Yo waddup maaan?(I'm Just kidding)...Ye..kejap ye"..."Adaaaaah!JPA call"

moi>>"So?"(Hahaha...u wish)

"Hello,assalamualaikumwarahmatullahhiwabarokatuh?"*grins*(Exagerated..a lil')

Mr.A>>*repeats introduction* .Tengah buat ape tu?*flirtatious tone*

(Is he hitting on me/high/lost/needs brain surgery?)

moi>>Buat cokodok..pisang*blushes*(I was!!)

Mr.A>>Sekarang ape perKEMBANGAN kolej pasal penempatan?

(Wanted to say...oh~sangaaaat berkembang malah encek, berkembang dan kecut lg *rolls eyes*)

moi>>xde pape.

Mr.A>>xde pape?biar betik sioooot? (heeehe) -->Ok.Pada asalnye kolej yang tentukan placement tp nampaknye byk tmpt kat india dah full so JPA skang take over.Medic ade 50++ org.Tahukan 5org akan pergi Belgaum?

moi>>I heard.Bukan 10 ke?

Mr.A>>Itu termasuk dental (oh reeeaaally?) Skarang tinggal 46org.So sebab tmpt dah penuh,(ahaaa) yang 46 lagi kita offer twinning program kat Manipal melake.2 1/2 tahun kat India 2 1/2 tahun kat Melaka. 5 tahun semuanye( I can add ok Mr? 2.5 + 2.5 = 6! seeee?).

*emotional struggle* Can't..breathe..must breathe..some air..*bangs head in wall*

This is how it was suppose to go =

moi>>Hhhhwwwwatta??You have GOT'ttt to be shitting me right??

Mr.A>>hold your horses pwetty lady*ehem*.I'm afraid NOT.Unfortunetly.Its the truth.Lets face the facts here.

moi>>you can TAKE your damn truth and facts and SHOVE it up your flabby asssss'S(u know what I mean?'S...get it?like more then the average?as in plural?Ha!Ha!) Mr.I'm-So-Innocent-Don't-Look-At-Me.Thanx but no thanks.My freakin agreement says 57months in India and now your saying 2 n a half? What do i look like? Paris Hilton (as ifff) dat u could fool me around God damnit?

-noooott-

*sighs* Fortunetly...I wasn't that atrocious ppl!I'm just too over jocular.I actUAlly answered the guy cordially and talked only about rudimentary matters.

moi>>ok.Yang dak2 dental cemaner?

Mr.A>>Dorang akan pergi mcm biasela(ikut perjanjian asal)

moi>>Yang 25org haritu plak?Yang isi boarang Manipal tu?

Mr.A>>dorang skalila.Semua 46org yang tinggal akan masuk twinning.Awak jangan risau(I think he said that) sebab awak takkan buang masa sebab course awak 5tahun je.Awak start blaja Mac 2007 so awak akan tamat same dgn dak2 Belgaum.

*gulps&frowns* (Wha..whaa..what did he say? March? Tha..that means..another 6months..I can't be hearing this.I must not be hearing right.Its a lie..a lie I tell ya! I can't HHHeeeeaaAArrR yyoouuu~ 'Lalalalaalalaala~')*shakes head*

moi>>Tahun depan??

Mr.A>>A'ah.Mac tahun depan

(OhmaGodOhMaGodOhMaGod)*dizzy*

-->The following was what was running through my mind(almost) :-

"Your totally CRAZY.This is insaaaane!!How could you DO this to me?"

"I'm going to waste HALF a YEAR of my Y-O-U-T-H for nothing?"

"I'm Going to turn 20 next year..and I'll be STUPID and RUSTY by then..heck I don't even have a boy-friend to fiddle around with yet"

(BURN THAT COLLEGE DOWN TO THE GROWN!)

Mr.A>>Surat akan dihantar nanti.Ada pape nak tanye?

(I was in total awe that I couldn't think quite straight)

moi>>Mmm..saye tgh buntu lagi..kalu ade pape saye call balikla JPA kalu nak tanye(what kinda answer was THAAT? Hahaha..watever~ I wasn't thinking)

Mr.A>>Okla.Itu je utk skarang.(Now I can't recall how he ended our discontentious discussion)

So here I am after being emotionally abused..Pondering what should I do with my life.I've got 6months to do it.I guess eventually I have to get a job if I'm thinking of ever having some leisure and pleasure after this coz i don't think scholar money is coming anytime soon.I'm also thinking of enrolling in music school.Maybe I could learn a few instruments.I really like drums but its not conventional..u don't find drumsets in ordianry ppls houses so i guess the piano or the guitar is better.Or maybe I should go learn swimming.Thats useful if ever Tsunami or tsunami-wannabes come along (especially india).Yoga or pilates or aerobics is cool.And there's always the British council.oh oh..Travelling?...hurmmm..naaahh..dat has money stomped all over it and i have 'BroKe' stomped all over my forehead..Gotta start planning from now.

Whattaaa~

Yesterday i accidently *ehem* watched AF(ever heard?) well anyway...The whole show was kind of a big blow-out(i mean it WAS for the pass few concerts) but yesterday..I actually saw(N how could I compare If i didn't...??) *red handed* improvement ppl!! Though Amirul still sucked and Farhan was quite the average that night but 5zal was good! And duet between Farhan and Velvet was great *big applause* .

I thought they earned a thumbs UP! but NooooOOOooooo.....those darn critics haaaad to ruin the mood. God....give those kids a break.Nothing they do reach THEIR big expectations...when you tend to compare with other seasons it makes it a step harder to see their quality.Its already the 8th week but still~ *sighs* Are they really that bad? I mean...urgh..I pitty them for stepping into that territory.

And ppl what IS it with M-A-W-I?? He isn't that good to my ears...He's not that innocent and humble *rolls eyes* The only part i like about Mawi was when he won AF coz he looked really terharu and all..and I also like the ad he's in...'Fantansia' one *praise for ppl behind the scenes* coz It was cute and funny.Ha-Ha!

Do you ppl watch One In a Million?? Now THAT is a better-worth-watching-show. They have real UMPH in it and they have REALLY talented contestents(minus Dayang/Farah/n wats-her-name..come ON..).I'm TOTALLY routing for Faizal and Lokman..Heee~*sheepish grin* Though I don't see what the judges see in Suki coz to me she seems ordinary and she's kind of pelat. A girl version of Daniel but better.

I'm writing here about all this is crap is because.....I HAVE NOTHING better TO DO...kill me already.Haha.I have set aside the e-g-o and admit defeat. I actually admit I watch crappy reality shows while I should fill my time with more important things and maybe things related to our after-life.heehe.*rolls eyes* But heck I'm only human...a bad one at it too..

So HelP Me God~

I'm such an ass aren't i?? God..to tell you the truth i actually dreaded coming

back here.. I dunno.I wanted to leave my 'times of yore' be. I feel like crap being
here again.I want to abide somewhere else where no being knows me.

I'm agitated and feel so so helpless aite now.Akak called and I actually cried.

My raison d'être was dat d house was a chaos(which apparently was)

and dat I had this mutual feeling of uneasiness coming here..

maybe coz I've adapted to the life in Shah Alam.Free from my parents.

Free from orders.I look at this place and I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START.

I hate myself for being so feeble at moments like this.

I really have the upmost hatred of myself. I dislike everything about me.

There was this one time when our english teacher Mdm Munira told us to write

about‘The nicest thing you have ever done for someone’. I couldn’t write on that

topic.I was blank.Totally vulnerable.Pathetic.Huh~ What kinda person am I.

Oh-Maa-GOD!!

Just got off d plane(well i arrived few hours ago). Maann..dat was d mooost longest flight i felt i'v ever been on.Seriously it was really3 long and boooorrriiiinngg...2 flights in one day can really knock out d wind in ya i guess..N now I'm home-sweet-home(?) in Labuan....but all my friends are in Semenanjung n i'm stuck here!!Just great!

We-Us-Now

Life is a simple thing,
To divide among, to be prejudice towards,
Living, loving things, things with feelings,
Consequently we suffer from our actions.

Pride is a precious little creature,
Creeps in the shadows of light,
Slides through emotion without notice,
Never knowing when to fall and when to rise.

Civilization has long ago landed,
Not yesterday or the day before,
Yet we act like barbarians,
Full of madness, rage and anger.

Irony and bitterness slickers it tongue,
But there’s no one there to look out,
For the small child in the corner,
Or the old man in the alley.

Funny everyone’s avoiding,
Only compromising small worldly matters,
Matters that won’t accompany you till death,
And shall not convey you mercy in your gave.

While bigger significant issues await,
For a helping hand, a listening ear,
We turn away, blind and deformed,
Attitude wrong, gratitude none.

We are not perfect to judge,
We are not messengers from above.
But we clamor perfection, contentment,
While in reality we are empty corpses.

How pathetic, filthy ungrateful beings,
Who does not know when or how to clean its act,
We are just ammunition of gun powder, an ambiguity of lies,
Conmen of the century, convicted of soul theft.

I'm so shhaaaaaddd~

A while ago I was cramming my head on what was I gonna write in dis entry..but juz now..after getting a call from Neena I know exactly what! NeenaaaAAAAa!!! Dat lucky son of a gun!!(daughter whatever) well I oso sympathize her bout BTN thing tho. Anyway.. she finally received a call from KU bout n offer to Manepal college. Aaaarrgghh~ I really was looking forward to going to college wityu Neena!! But I guess God has a different plan for me. I’ll just have to embrace the fact that we won’t be together anymore wit u babe and I’ll have to abide apart from u. I actually shed some tears when she told me!! I know I know…life goes on and I’ll probably meet new friends..if I’m lucky maybe Kin2 gets d same placement as me. But its just not d same without Neena!! Hukhuk..we were gona travel d world babe!! Dis is the same situation dat goes in every cycle of my life…it was d same wit Sharifah..Faredza..Daazi..Dorsie. All so dear to me but I moved on and met people like Neena. I guess we would always be paranoid of not meeting the right kinda friends. I already am oh so comfy befriending Neena n d others n now I’ll just have to make peace with this. I called my mom to express my mere dissapointmet…sob3 *teary eyes*. I dunno if I want or need to make new friends!! I’m choking as of dis moment!! To be honest… Neena I hope you’re reading dis..i know we haven’t known each other for a long time..but I really do cherish our friendship and never before have I met a really nice and sincere friend like you. Before, it was hard parting with my friends but I’d only cry when I spoke to them or heard deir voice or remember a sweet memoir or c dem at the very last minute of seperating but with you.. I’m crying right now just thinking about it. You prob think I’m gay or something..hahaha..I thought as I grew up I grew unattached wit any friends. Guess I was wrong. I dunno if its coz d fact dat I didn’t get my call yet or wat..but I genuinely know it’s coz of us not getting d same place . Who’s gonna lookout for me Neena? Who’s gonna push me in doing crazy stuff and n tell me to believe in myself? Who’s gonna watch my back? Who’s gonna sing show tunes wit me? Who’s gonna sing second voice? Who’s gonna go watch a movie marathon wit me like u taught me? Who’s gonna talk bimbo wit me? Who’s gonna walk from KU to Seroja wit me? Who’s gonna buy a cheap make-up box wit me?? Who Neena? I really can’t bare the thought of you not being there. Waa..sentimental aite? I’m sorry..dis is gonna turn embarrassing if it turned out dat I oso got d same place as u. LOL~ but dis is how I really feel..

~My so called Boring Life~

Lets see..Whhooaa~ Bogus maan..I can't believe finally i am almost near to d point where i will never ever have anymore relationship wit KUTPM. Hahaha..I'm fweeee~ God..i could almost taste it. Anyway I received my results d other day..Was it good? Bad? It was ok..actually it was better than i thought it would be (which was average n maintaing current pointer). I guess my 2nd sem was wat dat messed up my pointer in d 1st place. Well syukur alhamdulillah..i passed d cutting point.Yet i could've done better.Couldn't we all?? Now i like officially have nothing else to do! *sighs n looks out da window* I mean bfore..i had somethin to look 4ward to n now?? I'm juz plained bored. I'm even thinking of cleaning d house* unbelievable expression*..Wat? U think i can't clean?? Ok2 i still have one last thing to look forward to n dat is?? D freaking placement...*long sigh* Where d heckare dey sending us?? Tell us already!! D anticipation is killing me!! Give us peace of mindlaa...Nvm 4get dat..
Anyway after taking our results we (nina,kin2 n tim) went back to my place..dey wanted 2 go out dat night.I was feelin kinda busted plus it was already 5 o'clock or so but whatta heck aite? 4 d sake of frenship i'd say. So after changing clothes we set out for a long n exhausting quest to 'D Curve' (new place near OU).It was like a 2 hour journey or sumthin..a cab,a train,2 busses!!*wipes off sweat*.Anyway..as soon as we arrived we went seperate ways.Me wit nina, kin2 wit tim. We went exploring d cineleisure der.It was awesome.A whole bulding only 4 movies.Dats hot.We finally made up our minds to watch a movie : Stay Alive. It was really great..at least it was after 5 min of d movie(coz d first 5 min i was bz convincing my bro n mom dat i was fine n dat i'de b home!)I was worried myself tho..D movie ended around 10.30pm n we straightly headed back home which took 2 cabs 1bus and we arrived around midnight.Oh n zarina AF sat right next to me in d cinema n nina was like 'Can I take a pic wit her? My dad really likes her' n i was like na-uh~ 'No way nina..we have pride n integrity' 'we r future docs..we don't take pics wit celebrities on d rise!'Cruel right? I have a prob wit my big-fat-ego..But if it was CT or any1 big..i might take one myself huh~

~What A Week~

On Monday..we went out to watch ‘Cars’ at The Mines. That was right after we settled matters at PTPTN. After d movies we strolled along Mines river (is dat wat u call it?) Fed some fish..drank some fruit ice-blended…den we headed home.

On Tuesday..we went out to Bukit Raja to watch ‘Tokyo Drift’ . At first we wanted to go to The Curve (wherever that is) but because my brothers seem to have a problem to differentiate 8 o’clock to 12 0’clock so we decided noooooooooot coz d road to ‘der’ would probably be jammed. At Bukit Raja, I got to buy dis novel by Frank McCourt which I got a great deal on!! 20 bucks man~ Preeetty good lck aite? Well NOT for long it wasn’t.N its where me, Nurul Syuhadah..Miss I’ve-checked-my-purse-n-confident-evrythins-der lost my handphone in d cinema. Smarty pants~ I could juz hit myself in d head.

On Wednesday…without planning..we went for a late night movie at MV to watch X-men (well that’s wat we planned but turned out dey ran outta tix) so at last we settled for ‘Take D Lead’. What? (Aite?) I said ‘What the heck..Juz hope 4 d bestlaaa!’ LOL~ Neena juz happened to b der wit Bye (dey were der since morn..n were watchin Still Alive) so I invited her to come along. Bye went home. It was Kak Ninees’ treat dat 1. She went for a different movie though..Superman Premier. D halls was packed wit ppl going to watch d premiers. D security was tight dudes! I heard dat der were celebrities present too (not dat I give a damn) *coughs* Well anyway..we finished at 11.30 pm den waited a while for Kak Ninee…Neenab slept over at my house dat night.

On Thursday? Whooaa~ I’m tired juz writing bout it..well we went to Genting Highlands!! What a blast…Dah lame x men games like dat. N it was great to feel d cool breeze again. Neenab didn’t join us. Damn dat woman...huhu. But I understand. Don’t wanna push. I wasted 10 bucks goin on the flying coaster. God…it should only cost u RM5 or so. Bloody leeaches. Plus d ride like lasted like only bout liiiike 25 secs..puff~ But dats ok coz..its a once in a lifetime xperience..like how many ppl can say dey went on dat devil ride huh?? (der prob a million..) But still!! Hahaha..