Dear Mizz Neenab~
Duuuude...I'm like soooo sorry i cudnt make it to d 'party'..I mean I was like besemangat n all at d beginning..really i was.I was even pissed off at d oders for bailling out..i was like..'How cud y'all?' n 'Its oklaaa...aku jd wakil sume'..If i could prove to u how truly excited i was..i would babe but i can't.I dunno y i had a sudden change of heart..i was chickenning out..Self-conciousla..i really have dis huge respect for ur family..it comes natural n mutual..i feel like u guys cum from another class of people...above my own..believe me..i do feel like dat.U guys r so awesome dat i juz dun think i'll fit in.I have to work on my sosial skillslaaa..i know i'll feel kinda low self-esteem n all..der in d midst of ur clan.Plus eventho ur parenz n sis are really oh-so-cool n out-going..dey remind me how much i miss my parenz n sis..i find dat only dem n dem only dat seems cud trigger dat feeling inside me.I feel uncomfortable wen dat happens..u know dat gelisah feeling sumtimes we have..not knowing y..but its juz der? Don't misunderstand me k..coz i really like ur family..like i said b4...i'd luv 2 b part of urs n u b a part of mine.I honestly do.I dunno if u were crius bout nt wantin me come to d wedding..i hope not coz i'd wanna go wit d gurls..juz hope xde halangan n all.My parenz sumtimes juz don't get me wen i'm al 'kwn sejati' thingy n all..dyu understand wat i'm saying?? Nevermind..i won't promise i wud come coz xnak jd mcm ari2..but i'd really wanna celebrate d wedding witcha..n ur probably mre pissed off wit me compared 2 d oders coz i've dragged u along to soooo many family occasions but den i cudnt go to urs..i feel really guilty n baadd..i really apologize if i seem selfish..klaa..aku ngantuk ni..da lame ngendeng kat comp ko!! Buhbye..nite2!! n agen
So der it is...hopefully she 4gives me..n agen i apologize..from deep down!
1 comment:
Thats sooo sweeeet!
It was not my attention to make you think I was mad at you.I don't have any idea how to be mad at you! Dont use that as an advantage though.
Anyhoo, as for the reason WHY I was like so semangat to invite my friends to come is b/c its my bro's engagements for god's sake. When I said, "whats life if it's not shared", I really mean it.Literally. All I wanted was to see my friends in those pics with my family just like how my abangs' and sis's friends had come to find their way into our family.
When you said, "Is it jut b/c to show to ur family that you actually HAVE friends", it IS true. In a way. B/c when someone brings up the issue abt friends in our family, I will be the one with the least details. For ur info, I know almost all of my sis's friends just as how much my mom knows them. They'd come to ANY events on any given day to my house w/o any relunctant much less if we give out free tickets to F1. We are talking abt F1! Damn it. I had to fight with my sis to get those tickets for my friends instead of hers like we always did for the past few years!
Turns out that Sa, Bye and EVERYONE cannot come that at one point Syu, it hit me. When I look at my friends and my sis's, I see a big difference. HUGE. ENORMOUS. What abt these all classes and craps la Syu? Theres no such thing as classes. We are all human and thats the only class that I come to know. If only u could see that my family is normal just like any family. In fact, its so much like urs that I really really really want YOU of all the ppl, at the very least after everyone else DITCHED me, to join me, with my family, and my family's friends, and my abangs' friends, and my sis's friends.
Guess what? Turns out that I had to keep my sis's friends company when I could have my own circle of friends there.
I dont know if this is selfish, but I have this growing desire of having my friends meeting my family just like how my siblings' friends did.
I did wonder, U know. When I was in high school, that how come mom always talks abt akak's friend when she (mom) could not even name ONE of my close friends. Except Syazana of course or Rai and thats only because they always tumpang my car.My only salvation at those times was, "Maybe cause diorangnyer kawan dah besar kot... so thats why la diorang cam dont mind abt going anywhere with us". And if its my abangs' friends, "Diorang x kesah coz , GUYS.Do they really care abt anything?"
But I guess I was wrong.
Nyeh. Selfish? I guess so. Because I also wanted you guys to come so that I can "present" you guys to my family so that my mom would have other ppl to talk abt other than my sis's or abangs' friends.
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