Got doooped~Wakanabeb!

How does a college like mine could ever be revered by its fellow peers in this competitive world if they treat us (its studs) like trash??Simple.They don't.And with our subservient ways...'padan muka' i guess.Now i can never pay homage to KU.I just love to condemn them.But it wouldn't be very nice.There must be something good I could say about KU *bubble appears above head*(thinks really hard) Nope.Wait...Naaaah~Nadda.I would also love to get in an altercation with their admin.LoL.

(You'll probably wonder 'What the hell is she talking about?')

Well here goes. At around a quater to 6pm this evening I got a call from JPA.(I was like 'finally!'*rolls eyes & goes -phew~*) Well..I was wrong.I was emotionally and mentally dumbstruck when I heard the news.I seriously didn't know what to feel or think..but what was stupid I didn't know what to ask*smacks own face*

jpa>>"Hello.Saya En.Azman dari JPA.Boleh cakap dgn Nurul Syuhadah?"

mumz>> "Yo waddup maaan?(I'm Just kidding)...Ye..kejap ye"..."Adaaaaah!JPA call"

moi>>"So?"(Hahaha...u wish)

"Hello,assalamualaikumwarahmatullahhiwabarokatuh?"*grins*(Exagerated..a lil')

Mr.A>>*repeats introduction* .Tengah buat ape tu?*flirtatious tone*

(Is he hitting on me/high/lost/needs brain surgery?)

moi>>Buat cokodok..pisang*blushes*(I was!!)

Mr.A>>Sekarang ape perKEMBANGAN kolej pasal penempatan?

(Wanted to say...oh~sangaaaat berkembang malah encek, berkembang dan kecut lg *rolls eyes*)

moi>>xde pape.

Mr.A>>xde pape?biar betik sioooot? (heeehe) -->Ok.Pada asalnye kolej yang tentukan placement tp nampaknye byk tmpt kat india dah full so JPA skang take over.Medic ade 50++ org.Tahukan 5org akan pergi Belgaum?

moi>>I heard.Bukan 10 ke?

Mr.A>>Itu termasuk dental (oh reeeaaally?) Skarang tinggal 46org.So sebab tmpt dah penuh,(ahaaa) yang 46 lagi kita offer twinning program kat Manipal melake.2 1/2 tahun kat India 2 1/2 tahun kat Melaka. 5 tahun semuanye( I can add ok Mr? 2.5 + 2.5 = 6! seeee?).

*emotional struggle* Can't..breathe..must breathe..some air..*bangs head in wall*

This is how it was suppose to go =

moi>>Hhhhwwwwatta??You have GOT'ttt to be shitting me right??

Mr.A>>hold your horses pwetty lady*ehem*.I'm afraid NOT.Unfortunetly.Its the truth.Lets face the facts here.

moi>>you can TAKE your damn truth and facts and SHOVE it up your flabby asssss'S(u know what I mean?'S...get it?like more then the average?as in plural?Ha!Ha!) Mr.I'm-So-Innocent-Don't-Look-At-Me.Thanx but no thanks.My freakin agreement says 57months in India and now your saying 2 n a half? What do i look like? Paris Hilton (as ifff) dat u could fool me around God damnit?

-noooott-

*sighs* Fortunetly...I wasn't that atrocious ppl!I'm just too over jocular.I actUAlly answered the guy cordially and talked only about rudimentary matters.

moi>>ok.Yang dak2 dental cemaner?

Mr.A>>Dorang akan pergi mcm biasela(ikut perjanjian asal)

moi>>Yang 25org haritu plak?Yang isi boarang Manipal tu?

Mr.A>>dorang skalila.Semua 46org yang tinggal akan masuk twinning.Awak jangan risau(I think he said that) sebab awak takkan buang masa sebab course awak 5tahun je.Awak start blaja Mac 2007 so awak akan tamat same dgn dak2 Belgaum.

*gulps&frowns* (Wha..whaa..what did he say? March? Tha..that means..another 6months..I can't be hearing this.I must not be hearing right.Its a lie..a lie I tell ya! I can't HHHeeeeaaAArrR yyoouuu~ 'Lalalalaalalaala~')*shakes head*

moi>>Tahun depan??

Mr.A>>A'ah.Mac tahun depan

(OhmaGodOhMaGodOhMaGod)*dizzy*

-->The following was what was running through my mind(almost) :-

"Your totally CRAZY.This is insaaaane!!How could you DO this to me?"

"I'm going to waste HALF a YEAR of my Y-O-U-T-H for nothing?"

"I'm Going to turn 20 next year..and I'll be STUPID and RUSTY by then..heck I don't even have a boy-friend to fiddle around with yet"

(BURN THAT COLLEGE DOWN TO THE GROWN!)

Mr.A>>Surat akan dihantar nanti.Ada pape nak tanye?

(I was in total awe that I couldn't think quite straight)

moi>>Mmm..saye tgh buntu lagi..kalu ade pape saye call balikla JPA kalu nak tanye(what kinda answer was THAAT? Hahaha..watever~ I wasn't thinking)

Mr.A>>Okla.Itu je utk skarang.(Now I can't recall how he ended our discontentious discussion)

So here I am after being emotionally abused..Pondering what should I do with my life.I've got 6months to do it.I guess eventually I have to get a job if I'm thinking of ever having some leisure and pleasure after this coz i don't think scholar money is coming anytime soon.I'm also thinking of enrolling in music school.Maybe I could learn a few instruments.I really like drums but its not conventional..u don't find drumsets in ordianry ppls houses so i guess the piano or the guitar is better.Or maybe I should go learn swimming.Thats useful if ever Tsunami or tsunami-wannabes come along (especially india).Yoga or pilates or aerobics is cool.And there's always the British council.oh oh..Travelling?...hurmmm..naaahh..dat has money stomped all over it and i have 'BroKe' stomped all over my forehead..Gotta start planning from now.

Whattaaa~

Yesterday i accidently *ehem* watched AF(ever heard?) well anyway...The whole show was kind of a big blow-out(i mean it WAS for the pass few concerts) but yesterday..I actually saw(N how could I compare If i didn't...??) *red handed* improvement ppl!! Though Amirul still sucked and Farhan was quite the average that night but 5zal was good! And duet between Farhan and Velvet was great *big applause* .

I thought they earned a thumbs UP! but NooooOOOooooo.....those darn critics haaaad to ruin the mood. God....give those kids a break.Nothing they do reach THEIR big expectations...when you tend to compare with other seasons it makes it a step harder to see their quality.Its already the 8th week but still~ *sighs* Are they really that bad? I mean...urgh..I pitty them for stepping into that territory.

And ppl what IS it with M-A-W-I?? He isn't that good to my ears...He's not that innocent and humble *rolls eyes* The only part i like about Mawi was when he won AF coz he looked really terharu and all..and I also like the ad he's in...'Fantansia' one *praise for ppl behind the scenes* coz It was cute and funny.Ha-Ha!

Do you ppl watch One In a Million?? Now THAT is a better-worth-watching-show. They have real UMPH in it and they have REALLY talented contestents(minus Dayang/Farah/n wats-her-name..come ON..).I'm TOTALLY routing for Faizal and Lokman..Heee~*sheepish grin* Though I don't see what the judges see in Suki coz to me she seems ordinary and she's kind of pelat. A girl version of Daniel but better.

I'm writing here about all this is crap is because.....I HAVE NOTHING better TO DO...kill me already.Haha.I have set aside the e-g-o and admit defeat. I actually admit I watch crappy reality shows while I should fill my time with more important things and maybe things related to our after-life.heehe.*rolls eyes* But heck I'm only human...a bad one at it too..

So HelP Me God~

I'm such an ass aren't i?? God..to tell you the truth i actually dreaded coming

back here.. I dunno.I wanted to leave my 'times of yore' be. I feel like crap being
here again.I want to abide somewhere else where no being knows me.

I'm agitated and feel so so helpless aite now.Akak called and I actually cried.

My raison d'être was dat d house was a chaos(which apparently was)

and dat I had this mutual feeling of uneasiness coming here..

maybe coz I've adapted to the life in Shah Alam.Free from my parents.

Free from orders.I look at this place and I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START.

I hate myself for being so feeble at moments like this.

I really have the upmost hatred of myself. I dislike everything about me.

There was this one time when our english teacher Mdm Munira told us to write

about‘The nicest thing you have ever done for someone’. I couldn’t write on that

topic.I was blank.Totally vulnerable.Pathetic.Huh~ What kinda person am I.